Alec Baldwin to Charlie Sheen: “Beg for your job back.”

Alec Baldwin to Charlie Sheen: You can’t win

Alec Baldwin is offering troubled former “Two and a Half Men” star Charlie Sheen some tough love and telling the fired actor—who is suing Warner Bros. Television for $100 million—to sober up and beg for his job back.

“You can’t win. Really. You can’t,” Baldwin says in a new Huffington Post editorial, warning Sheen that network studio execs believe “no actor is greater than the show itself when the show is a hit. And, in that regard, they are often right. Add to that the fact that the actor who is torturing their diseased egos is a drug-addled, porn star-squiring, near-Joycean Internet ranter, and they really want you to go.”

Baldwin advises Sheen to take a time out and make amends with “Two and a Half Men” executive producer Chuck Lorre. “Take a nap. Get a shower. Call Chuck,” he writes. “Go on ‘Letterman’ and make an apology. Write a huge check to the B’Nai Brith. And then beg for your job back.”

The “30 Rock” star concludes by telling Sheen to get his act together.

“Sober up, Charlie. And get back on TV, if it’s not too late,” he says. “Beg for America’s forgiveness. They will give it to you. And then go back. You are a great television star. And you’ve got the gig. As I learned from closely observing Tony Bennett so I could impersonate him on ‘SNL,’ this is supposed to be fun.”

“P.S….,” he adds, “buy Cryer a really nice car.”