In a stirring ceremony today, four of history’s most beloved mass murderers, dictators, and warlords were given the Nobel Peace Prize for promoting democracy and human rights. Joseph Stalin, Pol Pot, Genghis Khan, and Augusto Pinochet each stepped up to the podium in Oslo to receive his $2 million check, and to apologize for not having created enough war and death, promising to triple their bloodshed. A visibly moved Thorbjoern Jagland, chairman of the Nobel Committee, said the decision by a five-member panel was unanimous, as was the decision to give a special humanitarian award to Israel.
Wait, scratch that. The Nobel Peace Prize was given to the European Union.
Oh well, same thing. George Orwell would be proud.
Norway, home of the Peace Prize, refuses to join the horrendous EU.