Find some bearded guy who can be passed off as an aging "Osama bin Laden". Beards are popular among Pashtun men. If he has a gray beard, claim he dyes it black for his broadcasts. If he doesn't wear a turban, imply he only uses it for his broadcasts. Ideally, the target should be from an extended family household who are security conscious because of an "acrimonious feud with relatives" and tend not to socialize with their neighbors, to the extent that some speculate they are involved in smuggling or drug dealing.
Fake an "Osama watching TV" video for public consumption with a "darker-skinned" CIA employee acting the role of "Osama". For this "Osama", it is merely necessary to obtain a passing resemblance from a side or rear view, such that the man in the footage could be almost anyone. But remember that the left-handed Osama should not be holding the remote with his right hand. And try to get the ears right! The footage must be edited accordingly by the CIA, so as to make it appear like "Osama" was making home videos of himself watching clips of himself on TV. That will provide corroborative 'evidence' - for the gullible - that "Osama" is Osama. If anyone points out that making home videos of yourself watching yourself on TV is a bizarre, improbable pastime, they can be dismissed as "conspiracy theorists". Mute the sound, so there's no need to fake it - and less potential for getting it wrong.
If not precluded by time constraints and the target's household security, a neater alternative is to have the CIA bug the Pashtun guy's living room so as to produce a side view of him watching TV. The previous method has the disadvantage that footage of the "compound" interior will not match the scene in the "Osama watching TV" clips, but attention to detail is hardly a priority of modern-day PSYOPs or "black" ops. And the Navy SEALs will of course be shown the image of the Pashtun civilian target rather than the CIA's "Osama", prior to their murderous mission. Any bugged footage will still require editing to appear as if "Osama" is watching clips of himself on TV.
If "Osama" is supposed to be watching and filming an older, curved tube CRT (cathode ray tube) TV, as opposed to a flat panel LCD model, don't forget to fake the flicker or rolling black bars on the screen.
Have an image of the "dead Osama" ready to be released by Pakistani TV channels, e.g., a composite of Osama from 1998 together with the corpse of an Iraqi who was killed after being arrested in Baghdad in February 2006. Should anyone discover the image to have been faked, and, moreover, to have already been circulating on the internet as early as April 2009, then blame the fiasco on bloggers, "conspiracy forums" and "conspiracy theorists".
Launch an operation using stealth helicopters, in which US Navy SEAL teams break into the Pashtun target's house and kill all the adult males in cold blood. Tell the SEALs that it's an "al Qaeda" headquarters, the main target is Osama bin Laden codenamed Geronimo, and he is only to be taken alive if found unarmed and naked. If he is found unarmed but dressed in pajamas, say, shoot him in the head and chest on the grounds that he could have been wearing a "suicide vest" - a special type of suicide vest that is guaranteed not to detonate from a bullet to the chest at close range. And a special type of terrorist chief who wears a suicide vest every night but sleeps through a helicopter raid and a "firefight", and doesn't even have his trusty AK-47 to hand when the Navy SEALs finally get to his third floor landing and chase him into his bedroom. Under no account should the corpse of "Osama" be left at the crime scene, or everyone will know it is merely the landlord and Khan family elder. Shoot any fleeing, unarmed women in the leg, as they will be useful alive.
There are advantages to the alleged "Osama compound" being northeast of Abbottabad and within a mile of the Kakul Pakistan Military Academy. Should a US chopper on a clandestine mission crash there, initial reports would be expected to assume erroneously that a Pakistani military helicopter had crashed somewhere on the PMA Kakul road, say, in the early hours of Monday May 2, 2011, Pakistani local time. It is possible that three or more explosions would be heard during the 40-minute operation, with one blast being sufficient to rattle windows for a radius of three miles and reportedly occurring fifteen minutes before the crash as the choppers roam with their lights off. If the crash site is subsequently confirmed as the Thanda Chowa village, that would correspond to the "Osama compound" address of House No 3, Street No 8-A, Garga Road, Thanda Chowa, Hashmi Colony, Abbottabad. Thus, a straw man conspiracy theory may be advanced in which Pakistani forces storm the house and the Navy SEALs story is complete fiction, requiring many more people to be in on the plot.
Source: Pakistan Defence Forum
The location also helps in blaming Pakistani authorities for "protecting" or "sheltering" Osama, steering the debate from the more important question of whether or not he was there.
Should any neighbor later confirm that the guy with the gray beard watching TV is certainly not Osama and, moreover, actually identifies him as Akbar Khan, a man whom he knows very well as the owner of the house, pretend to have missed that report. If the extended family in the household includes that older relative named Akbar, two brothers or cousins with the names Arshad and Tariq Khan, with the gas bill in the name of the elder brother or cousin Arshad, then claim Arshad is Osama's "courier". Confuse the issue by saying that Arshad and Tariq are also known as Rasheed, Ahmed and Nadeem. Claim the older guy, the real Akbar Khan, is "Osama". If the mustachioed "Osama courier" (warning: graphic picture here) Arshad Khan, sometimes known as Mohammad Arshad, is known to have said he was buying the property for his uncle, according to Qazi Mahfooz Ul Haq, the doctor who sold him a piece of the land in 2005, then the bearded Akbar Khan, the alleged "Osama" who in reality is the owner of the house, is most probably Arshad's uncle.
When there is not the slightest evidence that Osama ever lived there, and local residents express their disbelief that he lived there for years - a mile's drive from the Pakistan Military Academy, it can be put down to the "elusive" Osama's talent for hiding himself. Make "Osama's wife" say that he never left the house. A claim that he had not left the same room for five years is taking it too far; the room where "Osama" is watching Al Jazeera does not look like a bedroom and bathroom.
Claim that Osama has just been killed, and there was a massive "firefight" that left no option but to shoot him and the other occupants. Say that none of the US forces were killed or injured because of their sheer professionalism, even though the alleged "Osama" was armed with an AK-47. Shades of the Jessica Lynch report. When it turns out that "Osama" was unarmed, wheel out the "suicide vest" theory as above.
Claim that the injured woman was one of Osama's wives, and he used her as a human shield by hiding behind her. Threaten the injured woman with rape and torture to make her go along with the "Osama's wife" story. Photoshop an image of "Osama's wife's passport" as corroborating 'evidence'.
When it emerges that the occupants in fact offered no resistance, claim nevertheless that the woman "charged" at the Navy SEALs who burst into her home, and imply that the bullet must have ricocheted off a wall and improbably injured the "charging" woman from behind (claim a "calf" injury). And say that one of the occupants fired at the intruders but conveniently missed; hence, 'explaining' the lack of evidence of any resistance. Better yet, say that "four of the five people shot to death in the operation [...] were unarmed and never fired a shot".
Have US Attorney General Eric "Gary McKinnon should be extradited for hacking into Pentagon computers" Holder confirm that multiple murder of unarmed civilians without trial is "lawful and consistent with [state-sponsored terrorists'] values", and is an act of "self-defense" (in Orwellian Doublespeak).
Claim that "DNA testing" of samples from "Osama's" body has already been carried out (within a few hours), and 'proves' that Osama was killed in the raid "with 99.99 percent confidence".
Claim that President Obama and his team watched a "live feed" of the "firefight", and remember to turn on the laptops for any staged photo, rather than partly reflecting an adjacent pixelated classified document. If the operation is staged during the hay fever season, this has the advantage that anyone - e.g. Hillary Clinton - who is trying to stifle a cough will look like they were shocked by the raid and the killings.
When it emerges that in fact there was no live feed, say the "fog of war" led to confusion, and add that Osama will not be seen "walking on this Earth again" - something that rational folk have already been well aware of for years.
Claim that "Osama's compound" was an "extraordinarily unique compound" in an "affluent suburb" and valued at around $1 million, in spite of the fact it was certainly worth no more than $250,000.
Claim that Khalid Sheikh Mohammed provided information leading to the "Osama assassination"; thus torture, extraordinary rendition and Guantanamo Bay can be justified and those pesky supporters of human rights, truth, liberty, justice, etc, will be silenced.
Under no circumstances publish photos of the dead "Osama" - apart from any aforementioned fakes that can be blamed on "conspiracy theorists" if discovered. Claim that the photos are not being released on the grounds that publication of such "graphic" images would be "too provocative" and would threaten "national security". Explain the non-existence of Osama's body by making up some bullshit about having dumped it "at sea", adding the amusing 'elucidation' that the "burial" was carried out within 24 hours because of "Islamic practice and tradition", which U.S. authorities "take very seriously". After all, the target audience aren't going to know any different.
Imply that U.S. multibillion-dollar aid to Pakistan would be under threat should the Pakistani authorities refuse to go along with the ruse. After all, it was partly they - along with a desire to boost Obama's flagging approval ratings - who inspired the ruse in the first place, by indicating that they were becoming fed up with the pretense of "Osama is still alive and hiding out in Pakistan". Have The New York Times publish an article about "Washington’s fears of Pakistani corruption and incompetence" hours in advance of the SEALs' murderous mission in Pakistan.
Ensure that the authorities do not start telling the truth, or the official Nosamagate story will collapse under the sheer weight of accumulated lies from the past.
Another potential straw man conspiracy theory would derive from having an Israeli journalist boast about being the first (Israeli journalist) on the scene, and then introducing some errors that make it seem like the Israeli was "Osama's" nearest neighbor, living almost on his doorstep and tracking him, in a similar way to the situation at Sheridan Street, Hollywood, FL, around ten years previously. In the one case, the claim that Osama lived in Abbottabad is patently absurd; there is not an iota of evidence that Osama was ever there. In the other, the "9/11 hijackers" allegedly being "tracked" by Israeli "art students" were either wannabe pilots and patsies or were based on identities that had been stolen by the Mossad. But in the former case, unlike the "art students", Ynet journalist Tsur or Tzur Shezaf was not living near the "Osama compound"; he only went there after the news story emerged of "Osama killed".
Source: Ynet news
The errors are probably accidental, but an "is" that should have read "said", and an ambiguity about "the first to arrive", will suffice to sow confusion...
And so the Chinese whisper continues...
It may seem remarkably convenient that "Osama" was plotting new attacks on the US just before he was "killed", that he left unencrypted data on his computers, that he had a bizarre pastime of making videos of himself watching TV with the camera at such an angle that his face was obscured, that he was left with "massive open head wounds" and the "graphic nature" of them meant that publishing photos would be a "national security risk", that it was better to dump the body at sea to stop any grave from becoming a shrine, and that one of the "wives" of "Osama" would have a passport with white patches that corresponded with the edge of any fingers placed over the top of it. Pretend it is all just a remarkable series of coincidences.
As the official story is coming apart at the seams, resort to begging the question by saying anyone who doubts that Osama should have been killed (on May 1, 2011) "needs to have their head examined".
Claim that one of "Osama's" sons improbably escaped from 20 to 25 Navy SEALs as they stormed the Abbottabad private residence. Add that this son, Hamza, is a supporter of terrorism who is regarded as the Crown Prince of Terror and heir apparent to Osama, thereby paving the way for another Emmanuel Goldstein character who can replace Osama bin Laden as justification for the "war on terror".
The concise version
Find some innocent Asian family who can be passed off as "Osama bin Laden" and his "courier". Brief Navy SEAL teams with the details of the target, and send them on a mission to kill the unarmed male family members in cold blood. They must be killed; dead men can't talk. Instruct the SEALs that "Osama" can only be taken alive if he is found naked and unarmed, since he might be wearing a "suicide vest". In the unlikely event of his being found naked, an 'accident' could be arranged, e.g., he 'accidentally' fell to the floor and banged his head. Or there was a struggle. Or he swallowed a cyanide pill. Any surviving women and children must be taken into custody. Inform the world that "Osama" has just been killed along with his "courier" and others in a "firefight", and claim that Barack Obama and his aides watched live feed of the killings. As 'evidence', fake some video footage without audio that can be passed off as "Osama" making home videos of himself watching himself on TV, and say that "DNA testing" has proved - within a few hours - that the murdered target was Osama bin Laden. Claim that no images of the dead "Osama" are to be released because their "graphic" nature would make them too "provocative", and 'explain' the lack of evidence such as a body by claiming "Osama" was buried at sea in accordance with "Islamic practice and tradition", which U.S. authorities "take very seriously". Ignore the fact that if real evidence was available, there would be no need to risk using fake evidence.