It never fails – EVERY TIME I think that corporate lawyers can't dream up anything more absurd than they already have, they prove, unequivocally, that I lack the gift of diabolical imagination.
McDonald's wants to own the rights to how a sandwich is made. The fast-food chain has applied for a patent relating to the 'method and apparatus' used to prepare the snack.
The burger company says owning the 'intellectual property rights' would help its hot deli sandwiches look and taste the same at all of its restaurants.
Harmless, right? WRONG.
These people are CORPORATE CONTROL FREAKS.
They won't stop until EVERYTHING is under their control.
It also wants to cut down on the time needed to put together a sandwich, thought to have been dreamt up by the Earl of Sandwich in 1762.
They want us to pay royalties to them because some ham in the 18th century was too lazy to make a hot meal???
The 55-page patent, which has been filed in the US and Europe, covers the 'simultaneous toasting of a bread component'.
Garnishes of lettuce, onions and tomatoes, as well as salt, pepper and ketchup, are inserted into a cavity in a 'sandwich delivery tool'.
The 'bread component' is placed over the cavity and the assembly tool is inverted to tip out the contents. Finally, the filling is placed in the 'bread component'.
It explains: 'Often the sandwich filling is the source of the name of the sandwich; for example, ham sandwich.'
Lawrence Smith-Higgins, of the UK Patent Office, said: 'McDonald's or anyone else cannot get retrospective exclusive rights to making a sandwich.
Tell us something we don't already know.
How on earth would they enforce such a ridiculous patent anyway?
Station police at peoples' homes to watch for cheaters trying to make one in the middle of the night without paying royalties???
'They might have a novel device, but it could be quite easy for someone to make a sandwich in a similar way without infringing their claims.'
McDonald's said: 'These applications are not intended to prevent anyone from using previous methods for making sandwiches.'
Good grief. Reminds me of the joker who wanted to patent gravity.
Kudos to Jason for digging it.