WalMart (WMT) stock rose sharply in "Black Friday's" abbreviated trading session on news that a WalMart associate was trampled to death this morning by a rampaging crowd of shoppers provoked to stampede over the prospect of $3 toaster ovens to the first fifty customers who could find them in the Long Island store.
WalMart accounting representatives, speaking on the condition of anonymity, stated that the stampede has revealed an entirely untapped potential profit stream for the retail giant.
"We are exploring the possibility of increasing our "Dead Peasant" policies on all our Associates in light of this event"
"By creating a "loss leader" environment for the crowds of bargain shoppers, we can increase our Associate hiring, lower unemployment, and, hopefully, increase Corporate profits while keeping the consumers happy"
Dead Peasant cleanup on aisle 7.
Dead Peasant cleanup on aisle 7 .
Thank You for shopping your Long Island WalMart Store
Have a great day!"
Submitted by Claymoremind on Fri, 2008-11-28 18:23
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The last time I "participated" in materialistic pursuit of buying junk was in 2000, when I was a graveyard shift employee of W-M. I did not even hear of Black Friday until that year.
Now I refuse to participate. I repent. Black Friday is nothing but a disgusting open display of grotesque materialism and exploitation.
I do not feel a desire for a cheap HDTV flat screen. I'll stick with a Standard Definition tv for a while.
The death of Wal-Mart employee who was knocked out by the rash of insanely greedy shoppers reflects America's craving for materialism in callous disregard for "lesser person's" life and property, like invading countries in the ME/Central Asia for oil and gas routes and exploitation.
Animals...
How embarrassing for the richest country in the world to have people run around like complete morons for some discounts as if it's the first time in their life that they are visiting a store....shows the complete degradation of the society and the level of ignorance for not even considering the fact that if everyone storms in like that there will be people who get hurt, but none of them obviously give a fuck about others.
...these shopping sheeple should be charged with manslaughter. Their wilfully dumb actions brought about the death of another and they should pay the penalty for that.